Monday, February 27, 2006
At Least It's Not Called "The Weasel"
Check out the massager copy at the link above. Perfect example of Engrish.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
It Chops! It Dices!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Weekday Weirdness
Incident 1: It doesn't matter what time I leave in the morning or what time I get home at night; I always pass this guy coming from the opposite direction. He's pretty hard to miss: white beard, yellow Vespa, yellow reflective vest, and the biggest taxicab-yellow helmet I've ever seen. I'm being stalked, in reverse, by a hydrocephalic robo-chicken. Yeeeeeaaah, that's about right.
Incident 2: Also spotted on my way to work today: a guy riding a Segway. Actually, he was a Segway master, showing the grace and agility of an Olympic skater as he maneuvered around obstacles and over curbs. A beautiful performance; I just wanted to follow him around all day and make Jetsons flying car noises.
Incident 3: Some co-workers and I met with a trinket vendor. She handed out samples of a new goodie: a tiny plastic suitcase filled with chocolate covered sunflower seeds. Without thinking, (as usual), I blurted out, "Are these gluten-free?
Long pause.
Very long pause.
Vendor looks at me incredulously and asks, "Do you have celiac?"
"Uh-huh."
The room erupts: Everyone knows someone who had just been diagnosed. So for the next ten minutes, we set aside discussions of foldable koozies and glow-in-the-dark Mardi Gras beads and talked about where to find gluten-free breads.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Serendipity
A few things you should know about my father:
In World War II, he was stationed in Panama.
He loved Big Band music.
When I was little, he would sing to me: "Peg O' My Heart."
A few things you should know about me:
Years ago, I worked in the marketing department of a large corporation. (Well, still do... different corporation, though.) One of the services we advertised was a travel agency. If a travel agent couldn't represent the company on a cruise, the company would get a muckety-muck. If the muckety-muck couldn't go, they'd ask someone from the marketing department to chaperone the trip.
So, one day my number came up, and upper management asked if I wanted to go on a cruise.
A Big Band theme cruise
To Panama
Leaving on the fifth anniversary of Dad's death.
I didn't tell them that last part. Naturally, the circumstances gave me the shivers -- but C'MON! IT'S A FREE CRUISE!
So, I go, the ship leaves in a shower of serpentine and confetti, and I get dressed to go to the cabaret for the evening revue, feeling a little depressed. They're doing a Big Band "radio" show. You know the type: silky-voiced announcer says something like, "And now, broadcasting around the country from the Stardust Ballroom, high atop the Phlegm Building in downtown Cincinnati, it's..."
I order my cocktail and slip into a booth in the back. Right after my drink is delivered, Silky-Voiced Announcer says, "Now our songbirds croon a footlight favorite for all the folks at home: 'Peg O' My Heart.'"
I hope my spit-take wasn't that big.
After a few moments of hyperventilating out on the Lido Deck, I looked up at the stars and said a few "thank yous" for the people in my life and for happy coincidences.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Odds & Ends... Mostly Odds
- I've tried to come up with something to say about this Valentine's Day gift. I even went through several versions of "You got chocolate in my peanut butter! You got peanut butter in my chocolate!" But Evan at CoolHunting is right; just let the picture speak for itself.
- Oh, those wacky Germans! Last week The Soup showed a snippet of David Hasselhoff's "Hooked on a Feeling" video, but you really have to see the whole thing. Dachshunds, angels, tribal rites, motorcycles... no, really, you have to see the whole thing.
- A Christmas & New Year's leftover: The folks at Enlighten have a nifty holiday party excuse generator. Lust after the host, but dreading the party? They'll give you that just-right out.
- Who looks really bad in high-definition? Check out the worst of the worst.
- I wish I'd thought of this: The Slanket, a blanket with sleeves.
- And this: A purse that recharges your gadgets.
- Whoa, this company goes far beyond the standard ice sculpture swans.
- My sister's looking for a superpowered alarm clock to wake up her oldest boy. I like this grenade alarm. But I especially like the idea of my Mary Tyler Moore-ish sister pulling the pin and running.
- At first glance, these teas are pretty cool. But I wonder if -- on a bleary-eyed morning -- these would look like little alien invaders.
- If you lose your socks in the dryer, Sockrush is for you.
- Go on, make a monkey of yourself!
- Author Lisa Gardner is running a contest to incorporate the name of your nemesis as a murder victim in her next book. Is it wrong that I have a whole list of entries?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
