Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Just give me the @?*#!! drugs...
Got a prescription today to take care of an inflamed ligament, a souvenir from my trip to Austin a couple weeks ago.
The doctor was great. Of course, any doctor who recommends I find a studly guy to give me daily foot massages gets an A. (She'd get an A+ if she actually supplied the guy.) She did lose a few points, however, by suggesting I wear athletic shoes all the time. Sorry, no – I spent my entire childhood in corrective shoes, and -- as God is my witness -- I’ll never wear clodhoppers again.
The pharmacist was another story.
Me: Hello. Yes, I need to know if this medication is gluten-free.
Pinch-faced Pharmacist (PFP): But we’d have to look it up.
Me: That’s correct. Your office has done that before.
PFP: But we’d have to look it UP.
Me: Yes...?
PFP: But we may even have to call the the manufacturer.
Me: That’s fine. But I have to know if it’s gluten-free. If it’s not, my doctor needs to prescribe something else.
PFP (slight whine to voice): But we’d have to LOOK IT UP or CALL SOMEONE.
Me (smiling sweetly, but speaking through clenched teeth): Let me put it this way. If you don’t look it up and I get sick, I will have no choice but to drag my ailing body over here and throw up all over your nice white lab coat. And my lawyer will be taking pictures of the entire tableau. Do we understand each other?
PFP: Um... um... YES, ma’am. Is after 5 OK?
Me: Yes, thank you. Have a nice day!
The doctor was great. Of course, any doctor who recommends I find a studly guy to give me daily foot massages gets an A. (She'd get an A+ if she actually supplied the guy.) She did lose a few points, however, by suggesting I wear athletic shoes all the time. Sorry, no – I spent my entire childhood in corrective shoes, and -- as God is my witness -- I’ll never wear clodhoppers again.
The pharmacist was another story.
Me: Hello. Yes, I need to know if this medication is gluten-free.
Pinch-faced Pharmacist (PFP): But we’d have to look it up.
Me: That’s correct. Your office has done that before.
PFP: But we’d have to look it UP.
Me: Yes...?
PFP: But we may even have to call the the manufacturer.
Me: That’s fine. But I have to know if it’s gluten-free. If it’s not, my doctor needs to prescribe something else.
PFP (slight whine to voice): But we’d have to LOOK IT UP or CALL SOMEONE.
Me (smiling sweetly, but speaking through clenched teeth): Let me put it this way. If you don’t look it up and I get sick, I will have no choice but to drag my ailing body over here and throw up all over your nice white lab coat. And my lawyer will be taking pictures of the entire tableau. Do we understand each other?
PFP: Um... um... YES, ma’am. Is after 5 OK?
Me: Yes, thank you. Have a nice day!
# posted by Peggy @ 5:07 PM 
Comments:
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Good for you! WAs it gluten-free? These people drive me insane. It's the entire system: oh gosh, if we have to label gluten on our mustard or ketchup, people might not buy it. We don't want to go to the trouble.
You've got guts, my dear.
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You've got guts, my dear.
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